Boundaries.

photo: Rosalia

I.) Taking advantage

Sometimes we love so hard that we dissolve in it, crumble in it, relinquish to it, almost live and breathe for it. While it’s true that loving is beautiful, I sometimes think it can become destructive when we lose sight on what to do with it. We can be so empathetic, care so much, love so much that we start to let ourselves be taken advantage of.

No one said being good would be easy in a world that seems ever transactional with everyone looking out for their interests, sometimes at the detriment of others. It can be tempting to delve into vengeance, or shut our hearts up in an attempt to restrict the love that flows or overflows from it, and reserve it solely to the people who ‘deserve’ it. The thing is, doing all that would be changing who you are. Remember when I said if you choose to change, make sure it’s for the right reasons? Yeah, that’s not a good reason. Being good is on you, if people take advantage of that, that’s on them. Meaning, what we do is meant to be a reflection of our characters.

II.) Boundaries

As I get older, one thing I’m learning is that one of the best ways to take care of yourself is by having boundaries. People will walk all over you if you have no limits, if you don’t stand for anything, and yes, if you’ve got no boundaries.

Having boundaries is also very much a form of self-protection and self-respect. It’s easy to make excuses and exceptions but it’s so important to remember that your boundaries are yours, if you don’t adhere to them, no one will.

Asking yourself “what about me” can be done unselfishly, and is even more imperative than you think, no matter how loving or generous you are. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging what you deserve vs. what you got. You sometimes get what you accept or have accepted for so long. So, maybe remember yourself as you remember others, and help yourself as you help others.

Have your back too.

Until the next one

-C