How Moving Abroad Impacts Your Identity: My Perspective as a Nigerian Living Overseas
As a Nigerian living abroad for the last 7 years now, I think this blog is long overdue!
When people talk about moving abroad, often times it’s glamorized. To be honest, the prospect of moving and starting afresh in someplace new is a very cool thing, and not everyone gets to do that. But for those of us who do, what impact has it had on our identity?
No matter how much you hold on to your home country, slipping into the culture that surrounds you is often unavoidable. It starts with things like pronunciations, spellings, date, and yes, even how you understand temperature. However, in my case, temperature is one thing I just couldn’t compromise on! I’m a Celsius girl over the American Farenheit. Despite this, I made sure to have an idea of Farenheit so I’m not confused when I see it somewhere here. Greeting is another thing that’s different: people say ‘Good morning’ here, but I rarely hear ‘Good evening’ and never hear them say ‘Good afternoon’. It’s always ‘Hi’. The numerical date starts with month rather than day, which I was previously accustomed to my entire life. These are light examples of differences I noticed when I moved here, but now let’s get onto the more personal stuff:
Identity.
I speak Spanish, French, and English, went to a European school in an African country, then moved on to American schools in America. Right now, I live and work in New York City. I was lucky that despite this internationality, I grew up in Nigeria and tend to go back home for the holidays. Because of this, I don’t feel dissociated or disconnected from my country, which I’m very thankful for. Strangely, I think my relationship with Nigeria grew stronger when I moved away. I tried to glue myself to parts of my country while being thousands of miles away. I did this by consciously immersing myself in things like our music (which is some of the best in the world), our food (same thing), and communicating with my family and friends from there as much as I could.
This helped me stay in touch with my roots and I recommend it (but only to a degree). If you know you’re going to be living abroad for some time, it’s good to maintain key things that remind you of home, but also make an effort to explore where you are and really give that place a chance. Not doing so is a recipe for homesickness.
Your identity may shift when you start to absorb the different philosophies and overall way of life in the country you’re situated in. Honestly, this one can be a blessing. In New York, everyday I see people who are not afraid to be themselves no matter who is watching. That carefree nature is inspiring in that the people here don’t seem imprisoned or suppressed by what social circles or society believes they should be. This is a very unique trait in America that I think the world admires: the idea of being ‘the land of the free’. Importantly, in saying this, I'm not comparing this feature (or lack of) with any other country, including mine. Spotlighting the good things about where you’re living helps with your mental state each time you step outside (even if you’re living in your home country). You may also dislike things about the place, and think your home country does certain things better, but I find that in the end they balance each other out, meaning - what your home country may get right, abroad may get wrong, and vice versa. Nothing is perfect.
Being abroad certainly makes you think about yourself more. As a foreigner, you’re prone to receive certain questions and comments about you and where you’re from. You might even encounter people who don’t know how to handle their curiosity and end up offending you. You might also encounter people who don’t accept you for you are or even care to understand you. Sometimes things that are normal to you and your culture will be shoved in your face as criticism, just because it’s foreign. For instance, when a friend of mine first moved abroad, people made fun of the way he spoke so much, that he was convinced it was much better for him to alter his accent to fit in with his schoolmates. He was really young when he moved so people taunting him that way really shook him, and made him feel like he was speaking in an ‘incorrect’ way. In full transparency, I also met people with reservations about my accent when I moved. I remember thinking how completely ridiculous that was because obviously people who speak the same language don’t always speak it the exact same way. Dialects differ, but not everyone seems to know that. Fortunately, I kept speaking the way I do, despite people recommending the contrary so I could ‘fit in’ as the new kid and I could evade being made fun of. I suppose I was too busy becoming multilingual to change how I speak English just because my foreign accent was too noticeable! The plot twist is as I got older, my accent got me compliments. But even the compliments came questions and guessing games on if I’m British or not. The curiosity is great because it’s how we all get to learn about the world and how people are different. As you live internationally, you may find there are parts of yourself you do want to change and parts you’ll fiercely preserve.
Lastly, your style may adapt too (sometimes even faster than you)! You guys, what they say about Manhattan is true. People famously wear black here, and they wear it really well. Guess what? I joined them, and didn’t even notice. I can count how many times I wore black in my life prior to moving here. It was so rare to catch me wearing black before. I didn’t realize how stylish and functional wearing black could be until New York. Style is probably the most fun part about moving abroad because you get to experiment with a different side of fashion that you probably couldn’t have back home, and also discover new brands! This also goes for any other creative way you express yourself.
While there are other identity impacts that surely happen, no matter your circumstance, I hope you make the most of the experience. Use it as an opportunity to learn about you and the society you’re now a part of. It’s not always easy being away from home, but everything happens for a reason and you never know what amazing things can come from it.
Thank you
